(seductively licks lips)

(grabs your wrist)

(furiously hits you with your own hand)


(Source: returnofthemagi)


I’ve never seen this gif before but it’s perfect


    I’ve never seen this gif before but it’s perfect


      1. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs is not one of them.

      2. Never cancel dinner plans by text message.

      3. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.

      4. If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck.

      5. Always use ‘we’ when referring to your home team or your government.

      6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.

      7. Don’t underestimate free throws in a game of ‘horse’.

      8. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

      9. Don’t dumb it down.

      10. You only get one chance to notice a new haircut.

      11. If you’re staying more than one night, unpack.

      12. Never park in front of a bar.

      13. Expect the seat in front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly.

      14. Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first boy/girlfriend.

      15. Hold your heroes to a high standard.

      16. A suntan is earned, not bought.

      17. Never lie to your doctor.

      18. All guns are loaded.

      19. Don’t mention sunburns. Believe me, they know.

      20. The best way to show thanks is to wear it. Even if it’s only once.

      21. Take a vacation of your cell phone, internet, and TV once a year.

      22. Don’t fill up on bread, no matter how good.

      23. A handshake beats an autograph.

      24. Don’t linger in the doorway. In or out.

      25. If you choose to go in drag, don’t sell yourself short.

      26. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.

      27. Never get your hair cut the day of a special event.

      28. Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth. Always buy good shoes, tires, and sheets.

      29. Never eat lunch at your desk if you can avoid it.

      30. When you’re with new friends, don’t just talk about old friends.

      31. Eat lunch with the new kids.

      32. When traveling, keep your wits about you.

      33. It’s never too late for an apology.

      34. Don’t pose with booze.

      35. If you have the right of way, take it.

      36. You don’t get to choose your own nickname.

      37. When you marry someone, remember you marry their entire family.

      38. Never push someone off a dock.

      39. Under no circumstances should you ask a woman if she’s pregnant.

      40. It’s not enough to be proud of your ancestry; live up to it.

      41. Don’t make a scene.

      42. When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet is best.

      43. Know when to ignore the camera.

      44. Never gloat.

      45. Invest in good luggage.

      46. Make time for your mom on your birthday. It’s her special day, too.

      47. When opening presents, no one likes a good guesser.

      48. Sympathy is a crutch, never fake a limp.

      49. Give credit. Take blame.

      50. Suck it up every now and again.

      51. Never be the last one in the pool.

      52. Don’t stare.

      53. Address everyone that carries a firearm professionally.

      54. Stand up to bullies. You’ll only have to do it once.

      55. If you’ve made your point, stop talking.

      56. Admit it when you’re wrong.

      57. If you offer to help don’t quit until the job is done.

      58. Look people in the eye when you thank them.

      59. Thank the bus driver.

      60. Never answer the phone at the dinner table.

      61. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.

      62. Know at least one good joke.

      63. Don’t boo. Even the ref is somebody’s son.

      64. Know how to cook one good meal.

      65. Learn to drive a stick shift.

      66. Be cool to younger kids. Reputations are built over a lifetime.

      67. It’s okay to go to the movies by yourself.

      68. Dance with your mother/father.

      69. Don’t lose your cool. Especially at work.

      70. Always thank the host.

      71. If you don’t understand, ask before it’s too late.

      72. Know the size of your boy/girlfriend’s clothes.

      73. There is nothing wrong with a plain t-shirt.

      74. Be a good listener. Don’t just wait for your turn to talk.

      75. Keep your word.

      76. In college, always sit in the front. You’ll stand out immediately.

      77. Carry your mother’s bags. She carried you for nine months.

      78. Be patient with airport security. They’re just doing their jobs.

      79. Don’t be the talker in a movie.

      80. The opposite sex likes people who shower.

      81. You are what you do, not what you say.

      82. Learn to change a tire.

      83. Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them.

      84. An hour with grandparents is time well spent. Ask for advice when you need it.

      85. Don’t litter.

      86. If you have a sister, get to know her boyfriend. Your opinion is important.

      87. You won’t always be the strongest or the fastest. But you can be the toughest.

      88. Never call someone before 9am or after 9pm.

      89. Buy the orange properties in Monopoly.

      90. Make the little things count.

      91. Always wear a bra at work.

      92. There is a fine line between looking sultry and slutty. Find it.

      93. You’re never too old to need your mom.

      94. Ladies, if you make the decision to wear heels on the first date, commit to keeping them on and keeping your trap shut about how much your feet kill.

      95. Know the words to your national anthem.

      96. Your dance moves might not be the best, but I promise making a fool of yourself is more fun then sitting on the bench alone.

      97. Smile at strangers.

      98. Make goals.

      99. Being old is not dictated by your bedtime.

      100. If you have to fight, punch first and punch hard.

      —a high school teacher’s list of 100 wisest words (via mar-rs)



        (Source: nijitsundere)





          IS ‘MRS’ JUST MR’S 



          Mr comes from the French monsieur, which I think literally translates as ‘my lord’ and basically just means master, and Mrs comes from maistre which is the feminine form of master, so actually—for once—no.

          This was an extremely relevant comment and I thank you for educating me 

          (Source: khaleeesii)


Part 1 of my beginners guide! I thought it’s something everyone can use for help, but especially the fitness and health newebies who’s still going strong from New year! :)
Eating healthier:
Healthy eating 101
Beginners guide to healthy eating
The basics of a clean diet
Eating clean principles
6 tips for getting started now
10 rules of clean eating
Seven principles of clean eating
Clean eating: who, what, when, where, why and how
Freedom from fast food: 6 steps to healthier habits
How to make a healthy eating plan
Size your portions
We need to go deeper:
Water weight
Starvation diets doesn’t work
How to build a nutritious breakfast
Eat colorful foods
Choose the healthiest salad greens
Fresh or frozen?
Even deeper:
All about calories
What is a protein?
What are carbohydrates?
What is fat?
The problem with calorie counting
Empty calories
Why the FDA is banning trans fat
Simple vs complex carbs

              Dear Future Daughter:

              1) When you’re at some party, chain smoking on the roof with some strange girl with blue hair and exorbitant large dark eyes, ask her about her day. I promise you, you won’t regret it. Often times you’ll find the strangest of people have the most captivating of stories to tell.

              2) Please, never mistake desire for love. Love will engulf your soul, whilst desire will emerge as acid, slowly making it’s way through your veins, gradually burning you from the inside out.

              3) No one is going to fucking save you, anything you’ve read or heard otherwise is bullshit.

              4) One day a boy is going to come along who’s touch feels like fire and who’s words taste like vanilla, when he leaves you, you will want to die. If you know anything at all, know that it is only temporary.

              5) Your mental health comes before school baby, always. If its midnight, and you have an exam the next day but your hands have been shaking for the past hour and a half and you’re not so sure you want to be alive anymore, pull out that carton of Ben and Jerry’s and afterwards, go the fuck to bed. So what if you get a 68% on the exam the next day? You took care of yourself and at the end of the day that will always come before a high test score. To hell with anyone who tells you differently.

              —Abbie Nielsen  (via slutstatus)

              (Source: passionandcoffeestains)

                  "i want to wake up at 5 am and
                  watch the sunset with you and
                  your drowsy eyes and messy hair
                  while we use the sky as a pallet
                  to paint each other’s empty bones.
                  i want to spend thursday afternoons
                  sitting in an empty diner across
                  from you while we sip coffee and
                  scrunch our faces cause we hate
                  the taste but we want to act like
                  grown ups. i want to spend all day
                  with you tangled up in sheets and
                  i’ll curl up next to you while we
                  watch our favorite movies. i want to
                  play our favorite records and slow
                  dance with you and make up silly
                  dances to our favorite songs and
                  admire the way your eyes light up
                  when you laugh. i want to spend
                  everyday appreciating every ounce
                  of blood in your veins and each tiny
                  freckle on your arms and all your
                  little scars from falling at the
                  playground as a child. i want to
                  wake up every morning and roll over
                  to see you sleeping peacefully and
                  kiss you on the forehead and tell you
                  how much i adore you. i want to do
                  everything and anything with you
                  and only you, always."
                  —(via silentious)

                    (Source: amargedom)